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Burning Alive

I believe it is a legitimate statement when people say, "I can't go into church, I'd burn alive with all of the demons in me".

Sometimes we need that burn.

It is worth considering that right now you can walk into a measure of that burn by your own will.

In this same way, you may not be able to experience the phenomenon of some music if your soul has not acclimated to it,

until you are harmonizing with it in your being.

To not harmonize with it at all is to walk into a solid wall.

I am not someone who is always in the light.
In my life, I have walked up, down, and around.
I have gone from resonating with this music to being burned by it to being annoyed by it to hating it to resonating it again, in many orders.
I have heard the same music and experienced it differently many times.
The same song that meant nothing to me was at another time a completely meaningful experience.

A lot of it has to do with how we listen,
and what we assume.

Most of my life people have told me things, and I assumed what they meant.

An example is in many parts of my life, Christians pushing their dogma on me made me angry.

Their insistence that there is only one way and one Christ infuriated me,
but I did not understand what they were saying.

They were saying that they had stumbled upon a truth more true than anything they had ever found,

and they were testifying to its existence.

To make the comparison to something else in this world, they would tell you, "no, it isn't like that",
which is just as infuriating.

Some of us haven't tasted light.

Most of us have had a taste but we are such slaves to our multitudes of desire that we have no appetite for light in our soul.

We have filled our soul with murky water.
vAnd after being empty, filling clean water into a dirty cup, it does not feel good.

In my case I often go to such extremes that it almost feels damaging.

The difference -

It's not a battle we have to worry too much about.
Over time, the salt of most desire loses its flavor.
This is painful because it leads us to starvation -
And to find the source that will maintain us is often difficult,
especially if we are not acclimated to eating it.
Between the slave of desire, and the one who wants freedom, this is a war.

I believe it is also possible to observe the self that is between this war.
First you have to see that you are always serving a master.
Man likes to believe he is his own master, but you did not invent your desires,
they appeared before you,
you did not invent woman,
she appeared before you,
you did not create your desire for her,
it arose out of your soul,
and you became its servant.

Everything you want is what you serve,
status, money, control, being right, validation, beauty, these are all masters.

Notice and catalogue all that you think you want and all that you really want.

See if you can stop wanting anything.

The way I have been following has included "stay hungry".

In contrasting this with the fulfillment of desire,
staying hungry I have noticed is not fulfilling a desire.

I am fairly certain that the ones who practice 'staying hungry' are not aware in any way of this.

'Stay hungry' means to not be satisfied, to want more of what god has. This is after you have developed a taste -
It is similar to momentum.