Finding My Freedom
In 3 days I'm moving and while I have lived pretty much on my own for many years, this will be the first time in my life I will have total independence from others. This is a victory a younger me never believed possible, and there's an uncertainty there that has made me experience a sort of paralysis.
Last year I encountered a pastor. I cannot stand to listen to the messages of pastors, in hearing, they do not hear. In seeing, they do not see. When I heard him speak to his people, I was blown away. This man did not directly say it, but he understood what human freedom is. He understood the fundamental core of humanity, the spirit of freedom, and he fought for it, though his people did not know and did not see. He built a house to be father to the fatherless, to destroy the orphan spirit and the spirit of abandonment.
Where I am moving to is where I want to be positioned, it is where I can build out, it's also where I want to target, it's also a dark place. It is not safe to walk the streets there. Even entering that area I have always been hit with heaviness, oppression, fears and darknesses. The building itself has a history of violence, pain, death, the worst of the worst have done the worst of the worst in this place. This amount of change for me, I feel fear, but I am moving forward on a path that others may not see.
Yesterday the pastor passed away. When I learned about it today, the clouds began to rain and the rain became snow and the birds took to the skies. The clouds have now returned to stillness. I don't feel alone now, I feel that this man is with me, who fought for the same reason I move forward. His spirit of freedom will go with me. Where I felt unready before, I feel ready for this new chapter.