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Divi's Corner ring

Priority

To answer the question, " What can I do this time - differently - that will help me hold on", I don't claim to have the answer for you, but I can tell you what I started doing differently. You probably recognize that your lifestyle is what creates your life.

The key to enjoying the day is in a lifestyle that allows you to enjoy the day.
The problem is, your habits and all that in your lifestyle are difficult to change because they are automated by the mind. We don't seem to have as much control as we think we do.

My answer is actually really simple.
It has to do with priority.
When I stopped being pulled around by life, it's when I stopped all of my usual habits that I used to feel like "I was being a person".
When I stopped browsing facebook, watching every movie, tv show, filling my life with so much stuff, that's when things started to change, when I gained my space back.

Something happened before that. It was in priority.

To me, the real problem is, you want to take time to enjoy yourself, but you just can't. Life is happening, you have responsibilities, there are things you have to do.

In my life, my priority turns out to be what I pursue. My priority is what my mind pursues. If the calls of life is my highest priority, surely surely I will fall behind in a class like this and stop pursuing it.
When my absolute top priority changes from my world over to my heart, to me, everything falls into place and I can flow with life and enjoy my day.

Every time this shift of priority happens in my life, it is the same. It comes down to a single moment. There is a single moment where, hey, I could take 20 minutes for myself, but I just can't, my energy is spent on life. And there is a single moment where I find I have the choice to say, "No."

And I stop. And I say, "You know what, I'm going to choose myself in this moment right now, no matter what happens, no matter what the consequences are, even if I die." And at that moment there's a shift,

I regain that freedom, the freedom to exist.

And what I find in that space is that, I wasn't the priority, I wasn't being honored, I wasn't caring about myself, I was avoiding, and in avoiding, I was wasting tons of time.

Before that shift, my brain is pulling me, nagging me at every moment, that feeling of pressure that I have to do that next thing, that I've got to solve the next problem.

The truth is, the brain is trying to do that, because that is your priority.

When your absolute priority is You, your life, your enjoyment of the day, your soul, your brain will attempt to solve that problem instead, the problem of your enjoyment.

Then, you realize that you have a lot more time on your hands then you allowed yourself to believe. You just didn't have the energy to feel like you could utilize it, but as I'm sure you notice with mindfulness, short periods of time are very long when you are present in your own life.

It could be considered bad advice to say, "Stop." There are lots of consequences to stopping. But I know that it isn't until I stop, that I can begin to find a better rhythm, a better speed to run on, where I am not being pushed or pulled, I am in it.