There are three kinds of validation I am aware of.
All three kinds of validation reinforce your identity.
The first, external validation from those in your world, is simple.
Networking outside of your home base is essential,
but the more important critical key is this, call out the good in others, even if you don't see it.
There is no need to ever be against anyone.
Anyone who comes against you,
You can wish them well.
This will cause others to also call out the good in you that you cannot see,
And this will fulfill that external validation of positive identity.
The second validation is of course role models, these are in short supply.
This is far more integral than the opinion of a stranger, you are actually partially modeling yourself in the image of a role model.
The greater the skill in performing the role, the better the model of the role, the better the role model.
The third kind of validation is the same as the second.
The third kind of validation is validation from who you serve.
I will preface this by saying,
there exists that which is worth serving.
There exists that which if you serve it becomes self-validating.
This is a form of love,
This is a form of loving devotion,
This is similar to falling in love.
This begins perhaps with the initial onset of the hunger for wisdom.
A key to how to know which identity you want to positively reinforce is simple.
The identity you want is your real and authentic identity.
Here is the concept that the external world is often inaccurate, because the world is in blindness it cannot see,
and because it cannot see it does not know who you really are.
The identity that the external world will by large reinforce is not a real and authentic you.
How interesting is it that when that which is authentic to your nature is positively validated,
An electric resonance of gold vibrates out of your heart and throughout your being?
You have just tasted some spirit.
We can get into this deeply regarding how this is not simply a product of the brain as is a dopamine release or other positively reinforced behavior, but on track
This third possible source of validation is explained throughout Proverbs,
The fear of [God] is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction".
This information is enough to tell us that,
the fear of God has a relationship to wisdom and instruction.
This is the same kind of fear as not wanting your role model to think poorly of you.
So this is saying,
If wisdom is your role model,
Then when you begin to seek to please it, that this is the beginning of knowledge.
This is not unlike a "meta program",
a computer which can improve upon itself infinitely.
Similar to the concept of pointing the mind at the task of growing the mind, this self validating pathway is explained to provide a host of beneficial outcomes:
- You gain knowledge
- You gain validation
- *Your source of validation does not depart from you
- Wisdom is associated with real,
Real is associated with you,
You are moving closer to your real self by pursuing it
- Wisdom is associated with real,
Here is wisdom testifying to being made known,
Surely I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you.
So then we have a conditional promise,
- i. you receive my words
- ii. treasure my commands within you,
- iii. apply your heart to understanding
- iv. apply your heart to discernment
- v. lift up your voice to understanding
- vi. Seek her as silver
- vii. Search for her as for hidden treasures
Then you will understand the fear of the Lord
And find the knowledge of God."
There is an additional And Then in the next segment,
Then you will understand righteousness and justice,
Equity and every good path.
- i. You listen and are receptive
- ii. hold the instructions dear to you
- iii. Set the intention of your heart to finding understanding
- iv. Set the intention of your heart to gain the power of discernment, the ability to see through lies and illusion and deception
- v. Audibly or vocally ask out loud for understanding
- vi. Seek like you would seek money
- vii. Seek like you would seek riches
Then you will find, basically, in my translation, the heart or mind of God will blossom out of your heart.
Then you will not only understand righteousness and justice and seek to honor them, you will also understand every good path.
That is, the good way will be understood by you.
You will understand the meaning behind it.
Another way I would say that is you will have a comprehension of love for it.
It also speaks of equity, beyond the scope of this concept of validation.
Here's another 'if then' of wisdom,
"If you let your heart keep my commands, Then length of days and long life and peace they will add to you. "
Length of days meant, long life,
But based on this context,
I believe he also meant to say,
Your days will be long, like a day in eternity.
That again is a promise.
In this context, a promise is like a principle.
A principle is the way something works,
Involving an understanding of the laws of how things work, and using that understanding to gain leverage.
A promise is like a guaranteed principle,
it is not a maybe it is an assured will absolutely happen.
Here is the key promise you may or may not remember your mother reading to you -
Do not let mercy and truth abandon you
And bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart
This is saying perhaps to understand them, comprehend them, wordlessly, store them in that secret vulnerable place in you,
This is saying they are your greatest treasures and must not be lost.
Then the result:
[then you will] find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man.
This is the critical formula.
The favor and high esteem you find in the sight of God,
Is to get validation directly from the source.
This is to get validation directly from that which is worth being validated by,
That which is inherently truthful in its validation.
To understand wisdom and then be validated by the application of wisdom from your own core -
This is in a way, providing yourself with validation.
This is what people often try to gain when they try to love themselves.
They are trying to offer themselves this validation.
And they are partially accurate, the validation comes from your own heart.
The next promise -
If you trust in this,
And you don't follow your limited mind's comprehension,
And in everything you do you acknowledge him,
Then he will direct your paths.
This is very real.
Your path becomes directed by that which grows your heart,
and life actually begins to have direction.
Your life and problems turn out to accommodate the growth of your heart,
and by following it you are led on an invisible path that is rewarding.
The second concept of "In all your ways acknowledge Him",
for me at this point in the journey,
"Have I brought the God of Goodness, of Healing, of Mercy, Have I brought loving compassion into this problem in my life"
I have only just started to do this.
Many parts of my life and problems I have tried to solve I have not "brought God into it". I had operated as though that was a problem I had to solve on my own before returning to or being deserving of walking in light.
Now, we can take this verse out of context and apply it to validation:
Drink water from your own cistern,
And running water from your own well.
Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets?
Let them only be your own.
This I think would be fair to say,
Pour the energy of your spirit into your own growth.
Let them only be your own, and not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth.
As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured by her love
Philosophically speaking, an insight here is that the reason why you desire positive validation from others,
is because that positive validation is validating that which you believe internally.
Negative validation is distressing because it speaks against what you believe internally.
This matters because that means that the real integral place of validation is the core of the validation itself,
For the validation to come from the heart, that which it came from.